Community Response to Sexual Violence

Recently, I came across a Black millennial Youtuber who talked about being sick of Black folks obsession with the 90’s. She urged us to “let the 90’s go.” I had to laugh, because I’m guilty of this. As you grow older, it’s hard not to romanticize your childhood. Plus, the 90’s were an amazing time for Black folks. Particularly, in music and fashion. The fusion of r&b/hip-hop propelled Blackness into middle America, like never before. The influence of Black culture was undeniable…and hasn’t waned. That’s why you see white moms rapping in detergent commercials.

I think that’s why so many Gen-Xers, like myself, adore the 90’s. It was an explosion of Black style/dance/slang etc. Back in the 80’s, radio stations played a handful of Black singers that consisted of  Whitney, Michael, Prince, and Janet.  So, we do tend to carry on about the 90’s, but it’s because we remember how Black artistry was treated before then.

Besides music, Black television also grew in popularity. Shows like Martin, Living Single, and of course…A Different World. A Different World was the first mainstream program to represent Black college life. The first two seasons were terrible (sorry, Lisa Bonet), but it picked up steam after Debbie Allen took over as producer/director.

A couple of months ago, I started rewatching the show on Bounce TV.  Now, I can’t begin my mornings, until I sing along with Ms. Aretha. “I know my parents love me, stand behind me come what may…”

Continue reading “Community Response to Sexual Violence”

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Black Mothering Over 40

My little one will be turning two soon. It just seems like yesterday,  I was holding him in my arms for the first time.

I’m an old mama. I had my son when I was 41.  I never wanted children. I didn’t think motherhood was for me. I liked being on my own. Life happens, though.

It’s been an interesting experience. I tend to liken my parenting skills to an episode on The Simpsons.

Homer realizes he has been a horrible parent. He decides to make it up to Bart and Lisa. Of course, he bumbles his way through, making things worse. Finally, Bart fed up with the shenanigans, tells his dad “Your half ass under-parenting was better than your half ass over-parenting.” Homer replies sadly, “But I’m using my whole ass.” 

Once you decide to become a parent, you will be making a huge sacrifice. This sacrifice is even more jarring when you are older. You have spent the majority of your life doing whatever the hell you wanted to do. Those days are over. I’ve learned to accept these things since becoming a mother.

  1. You will always be tired. A good friend (also an older mom), warned me that I will never sleep again. When you are having your child, you roll your eyes at folks who tell you this. After all, YOU will be different. You will have that kid on a schedule. Ha, ha! The joke’s on me. I haven’t slept well since, uh the kid was born.
  2.  You will constantly be in battle with patience. While pregnant, I reassured myself that it would all work out. I’m older. I would be more patient. I would never be like those moms in the store with bulging eyes and throbbing neck veins, frustrated with their children. That lasted 2.5 seconds. Kids are not an extension of you. They are their own people with their own thoughts emotions, etc. They can and will work your nerves.
  3. You will question why you did it. In our society, mothers are expected to romanticize parenthood. Nope. The truth is, I question all the time if I did the right thing.  When you have a child, it’s not just about cute clothes, Disneyland trips, etc., it’s about raising a well-rounded human being. What’s messed up, despite giving your all, the kid could still grow up to dislike you. I know so many folks who don’t talk to their parents. You never know how it’s going to turn out.

Continue reading “Black Mothering Over 40”

Happy Fall!!

How was everyone’s summer? With the arrival of fall last Thursday, I thought it was a good time to mosey on back to the blog. My summer was okay. I made it through the smoldering southern heat. I found a survival job. And my baby turned one years old. So all in all it wasn’t too horrible.

Usually, I love the summer months. But this year the heat was so bad, I’m actually looking forward to the happenings of the fall season (cool weather, holidays, etc.)

While I’m normally not a big TV watcher, this fall has brought some great black shows. There has been big praise for “Atlanta” and “Queen Sugar.” I am also looking forward to “Pitch” about a young black woman trying to make it in white male-dominated/”All American” sport, baseball. The story most likely inspired by the life of  Mo’ne Davis.

I’ m glad to be back and ready to get my black feminist cultural critic on!! 🙂

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On the FOX Network, but what can ya do…

Sexual Violence and Black Women/Girls #2

The WGN show “Underground” has thankfully not had too many cringe moments. The show follows seven runaway slaves (the Macon 7) hoping to get to freedom via Harriet Tubman’s famous underground railroad.

The show is interesting and seems committed to telling the harsh realities of black folks under slavery/white supremacy. I only have a couple of beefs with the show. The insistence on incorporating modern music into the story line. I don’t like being emotionally swayed by a heartwarming slave spiritual, only to have it rudely interrupted with a song about popping bottles. John Legend please stop looking to Django for musical inspiration.

My other issue with the show is the relationship between plantation owner Tom Macon (Reed Diamond) and house slave Ernestine (Amirah Vann).

I can’t remember which episode, either two or three, Ernestine is naked in the wine cellar calling to “master” Macon. He enters the room, strips down, and watches as Ernestine pours wine all over herself. They kiss passionately. In a later episode, Ernestine refuses to have “relations” with Macon in the house. He demands that she does, but apologizes like a kid after she gives him the evil eye.

I hate when shows/movies depict “relationships” between a slave owner and his slave lover as if they are equals. While it may seem Ernestine has some kind of power over Macon, in the end she is still his slave. When you are a slave, it is never consensual sex. You have no true say over your life, no matter how many “rewards”are heaped upon you.

10 Horrifying Facts about the Sexual Exploitation of Enslaved Black Women http://atlantablackstar.com/2014/11/05/10-horrifying-facts-about-the-sexual-exploitation-of-enslaved-black-women-you-may-not-know/

Ernestine touches on this one night as she drunkenly laments her situation. She actually envies the field slaves. “They are worked from sun up to sun down, but they are able to go home to loved ones/be with their own kind.” She says. “Here, I can never be. And after a while you start becoming like them (white folks).”

What is not talked enough in mainstream feminism’s fight against rape culture, is that the foundation of rape culture came out of slavery. Well, it started with the initial exploitation of Native/Indigenous women. But it was heightened with the legally sanctioned sexual abuse of black women.  Black women’s bodies were considered property to be done with as one wanted.

Slave women never had any say in the matter. It’s important to remember this.

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Photo from: nerdreactor.com

Chasing Destiny

One of my favorite girl groups is En Vogue. They were the quintessential 90’s girl group with their beautiful harmonies, sleek fashions, and attractive but attainable looks.

I was pleased to see Kelly Rowland give homage to the group in her new show “Chasing Destiny.”

Rowland, one of the key members of Destiny’s Child, hopes to find the next generation’s “it” girl group.

The first episode was interesting, if not tedious. You know the cliche tryouts, backstories, and repeat singers from other reality shows who are still trying to catch a break.

However, Rowland brings charm and cuteness to the show, so it’s worth tuning in. She also has a vision for the group which is appealing. I had to smile when she said “give me my chocolate” when looking over photos for potential group members. Rowland recently talked about the importance of “chocolate” black women in the music industry.

One of my pet peeves with shows like this, is that so much effort is put into finding people, but often the groups go nowhere.

Sometimes it’s because they really aren’t all that great to begin with, but a lot of the times folks are extremely talented but not properly promoted.

I hope Kelly’s group actually make it. Especially since she does seem to want to expand the images of black women in music. This is needed as black women singers have become pigeonholed if they aren’t dipped in the Rihanna or Beyonce prototype. It’s why phenomenal singers like Jazmine Sullivan, Fantasia,  and others have struggled so.

Sisters In Law

“Sisters In Law” is a new reality show on WE tv that “follows a close-knit group of elite high-powered black female lawyers as they juggle their families, busy careers, and even more demanding social calendars.” http://www.wetv.com/shows/sisters-in-law

I was able to catch the first episode of “Sisters In Law” before it officially premises on March 24th. Well,  I can say, the women are fashionably fly. Otherwise, the show quickly spirals down to “Love and Hip Hop” dramatics of over the top arguments and “female rivalry.”  A bit disappointing for a show that’s supposed to be about high-powered black female lawyers. I always wonder don’t folks worry about ruining their names/brand by acting a mess on tv, but what do I know. I couldn’t relate to any of the women, although I guess I’m not supposed to as they are representing Houston, Texas’s black upper class. Future shows have the women discussing issues regarding police brutality and black lives matter so “Sisters In Law” may have some redeeming value in the end.

Oh well,  did I say the women looked fly?

 

Truth and Power

“Truth and Power” is a new series that “tells the stories of ordinary people going to extraordinary lengths to uncover breaches of public trust by governments and private institutions.” http://www.pivot.tv/

The first episode focused on the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. The activists shared stories of how they’ve been tracked by the government. One talked about being at a protest rally and a police officer calling her out by her twitter handle. Scary. But the truth is anyone who has written/played a part of the BLM movement is probably on a list somewhere.

I’m a conspiracy theorist at heart, so this show was right up my alley. The BLM movement is unique in that it was founded by three queer black women and has been mostly sustained by the activism of young black women. They are not the cliche older black male clergy leaders who usually dominate and are more willing to compromise with “the man.” BLM activism is unconventional. These young black women’s persistent resistance is definitely a threat to the status quo.

The Oscars

Initially, I wasn’t going to write about the hoopla surrounding the Oscars. I agree there needs to be more diversity/embracing of characters/stories of color. And while it’s fun to see your favorite actor/actress of color win the coveted statue, in the end it’s another self-congratulatory award show for overpaid celebrities. When you have poor folks becoming sick from contaminated water due to heartless city officials, in the grand scheme of things the Oscar boycott was meh to me. Particularly, since there has been criticism of how the Oscars are racist since forever.

But then some white actors/actresses started running their mouths. The one good thing that tends to come from controversies like the Oscar white out, is that folks show you who they really are. Folks who you thought were “liberal” and “colorblind” turn out to be clueless racists. The common complaint from these white actors/actresses is that maybe black folks just weren’t good enough to be nominated. This tends to be a typical response by many white folks when called out on the lack of diversity in work environments, etc.  Of course, they had to be mediocre, because white folks performances are always top notch *eye roll.*

Another amusing comment was made by actor Michael Cain. He said black folks just needed to be “patient.” What is this…1916 and not 2016? Has the whole Black Lives Matter Movement (BLM) been invisible to him? Black folks are refusing to wait. This was recently illustrated by a BLM protestor who interrupted a news conference holding up the sign #LaquanMcDonald‬People aren’t playing anymore.

The most offensive comment was made by actress Julie Delpy.

“It’s funny — women can’t talk. I sometimes wish I were African American because people don’t bash them afterward.”

Huh? She really would prefer to be black, eh? Anyway, isn’t Jada Pinkett-Smith a woman. She has been heavily criticized by folks, including this Delpy woman. Or does her womanhood don’t count because she’s an “African-American.” White feminists already failing in the new year. It’s interesting when speaking about women they are obviously only thinking about white women. From Patricia Arquette to Madonna they have framed their pro-woman rhetoric that exclude/insult black women/women of color. They don’t see us on the same level. Hmm…

In any case, it will be interesting to see how the Oscars turn out this year. It’s usually a snore fest so folks not showing up would at least give black folks a good chuckle when reviewing the YouTube clips.

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Photo from: en.wikipedia.org

 

 

 

Billboard’s Women in Music

Recently, I asked a young woman to tell me what the quan was. She broke out in a full dance routine. What in the world. What happened to the good old roger rabbit. You know you are getting older when…

The truth is, like most Gen-X folks, I’m stuck in the 80’s/90’s musically. There are some contemporary folks I like (Janelle Monáe, FKA Twigs, Fantasia, etc.), but overall most music today is cringe worthy. And what’s with all the culture vulture /blackface antics going on with white singers today. They are annoying, but I digress.

It’s been nice to see some of the old school women comeback. One of those trendsetters, Missy Elliot, will be honored at Billboard’s Women in Music. Elliot helped revolutionize music in the 90’s and doesn’t seem to be quitting anytime soon. Good for her. We need to stop the youth obsession happening in music today. Back in the day it was not uncommon for folks to start their singing careers in their 30’s. The awards show will air this Friday on Lifetime.